Seeking Help
When your thoughts and emotions begin to feel overwhelming, it is important to find support. We know asking for help can feel intimidating or vulnerable, so we've broken down what you can expect to make the process feel a little less overwhelming.
Am I Ready for Help?
It can be hard to know when it's time to ask for extra support. It is easy to downplay your feelings or think your experiences "aren't bad enough" to talk to someone about. But you don't have to wait until you're in a crisis to ask for help.
If you've noticed any of these changes, it may be a good idea to reach out to someone you trust:
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Changes in sleeping or eating habits
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Losing interest in favorite hobbies or spending time with friends
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Feeling consistently angry, sad, or anxious for more than two weeks
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Feeling overwhelmed by school, family, social media, etc.
If any of these patterns sound familiar, consider talking with a trusted adult, school counselor, parent, or another supportive person. Reaching out early can make a big difference.
Starting the Conversation
Even after recognizing you may need support, it can be challenging to ask for it.
Here are some templates to reference when first talking to a trusted adult:
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Asking a Parent or Guardian:
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"I’m going through a hard time right now. I'm not ready to talk about it all yet, but I really need some extra support."
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"Hey, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately and I think I need to talk to a professional. Can you help me find a therapist?"
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Asking a School Counselor or Teacher:
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"Do you have a few minutes today? I’m having a really hard time focusing because of some personal stuff, and I could use some advice."
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If talking to an adult feels challenging, you may also talk to trained teen listeners via Teenline. Teenline is an organization that provides confidential teen-to-teen mental health support.
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Phone (6pm-10pm PST): (800) 852-8336
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Text (6pm-9pm PST): TEEN to 839863
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Website: https://didihirsch.org/teenline/
Debunking the Process: What Happens When I Reach Out?
It is completely normal to feel anxious or unsure about asking for extra support. Often, that anxiety comes from not knowing what to expect.
To make the process feel a little less intimidating, here's what it typically looks like:
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Calling/Texting a Crisis or Support Hotline: A trained counselor will listen without judgment, help you feel heard, and work with you to identify ways to cope/decide on next steps. Reaching out doesn't mean you'll get "in trouble"; hotlines are there to support you, not to judge you.
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Seeing a Therapist: Your first session is usually about getting to know each other. Your therapist may ask what brought you to therapy, how you've been feeling, and what you hope to get out of your sessions. There are no "right" answers, and you don't have to share everything all at once.
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Confidentiality: Therapists follow a legal agreement that keeps everything you say confidential. However, there are a few exceptions if they're concerned that you or someone else is in immediate danger. If you're ever unsure, you can ask your therapist to explain confidentiality at the beginning of your first session.
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Fit: Many therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation. A large part of seeking help is finding a therapist you feel comfortable with. Consider taking advantage of these consultations to find someone you truly feel comfortable talking to.
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Supporting Friends and Peers
Navigating mental health with your friends can be difficult and complicated. Sometimes you want to support them but don't know what to say, and other times you're the one who needs a break.
Your support can have incredible impact in others lives.
Here are a few ways to text or say what you actually mean, given different scenarios:
1. When a friend is venting and you want to support them
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It’s tough to see a friend struggle, but you don't have to have all the answers. Just being there is enough.
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"I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m always here for you. Do you want to vent about it, look for a solution, or just distract ourselves with [activity]?"
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"That sounds really stressful. I’m honestly not sure the best way to help fix it, but I’m here to listen. Want to check out some resources together?"
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2. When you care about them, but you’re completely drained
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"Trauma dumping" is real, and it’s okay if you don't have the emotional energy to take on someone else's stress today. You can set a boundary while still being a good friend.
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"I love you and I really want to support you, but my brain is completely fried today and I won't be able to give you the best advice. Can we talk about this tomorrow when I have more energy?"
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"I'm really glad you trust me with this, but I'm feeling super overwhelmed myself right now and can't focus the way you deserve. Let's please catch up soon, okay?"
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3. When you're worried about a friend and want to check in
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If you notice a friend pulling away or acting differently, initiating the conversation can make a huge difference.
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"Hey, just checking in. You’ve seemed a little quiet lately and I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. No need to reply if you aren't up for it, just wanted to send some support."
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"Hey, I noticed you skipped practice/school today. Just wanted to see how you're doing. I’m here if you ever want to chat."
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4. When a friend mentions suicide or unsafe behavior, please immediately contact a trusted adult.
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Your friend may ask you to keep it a secret, but this is something you should never keep to yourself. If you're worried that someone could be in danger, it's important to tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
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You are not betraying your friend by asking for help- you're connecting them with the support they may need. Even if you're unsure how serious the situation is, it's always better to share your concerns than to keep them to yourself. A trusted adult can help decide the best next steps and make sure your friend gets the care and support they deserve.