Advice Corner
As you grow, you will experience new situations that can sometimes feel difficult or confusing. Talking to a trusted adult is one of the best ways to get help, but we've also put together advice for some common challenges that many preteens face.
Friendship
My friend doesn't want to play with me.
It can hurt when a friend doesn't want to play, but it doesn't always mean they're upset with you. They might want some time alone or be spending time with someone else. Try asking if they'd like to play another time, and remember that it's okay to have more than one friend.
My friend and I had an argument.
Arguments happen in every friendship. Listen to your friend's point of view, explain how you feel respectfully, and be willing to apologize if you made a mistake. Many friendships become stronger after working through disagreements.
I think my friend is mad at me.
Instead of guessing, try talking to them calmly. You could say, "You seem upset. Is everything okay?" Sometimes people are having a hard day, and it may not have anything to do with you.
My friend made me feel left out.
Feeling left out can hurt. Let your friend know how you feel, and remember that one moment doesn't define your friendship. Spend time with people who make you feel included and appreciated.
How can I be a good friend?
A good friend listens, is kind, keeps promises, includes others, and treats people with respect. Nobody is a perfect friend all the time, but trying your best makes a difference.
Fitting In
I feel different from everyone else.
Everyone is unique, and that is something to be proud of. The things that make you different can be your greatest strengths. You don't have to be exactly like everyone else to belong.
I want people to like me.
The best way to make friends and get people to like you is by being yourself. Being kind, honest, and respectful helps you build friendships with people who appreciate you for who you are.
I compare myself to other kids.
It's easy to compare yourself to others, but it is important to remember that everyone has different talents, experiences, and goals. Rather than comparing yourself, focus on your own growth and progress.
I'm nervous about meeting new people.
Many people feel nervous when they meet someone new. A good introduction can just be a smile, your name, and a simple question or two like "What is your favorite game?". Friendships can begin with small conversations like this.
I'm afraid people will judge me.
Most people are actually thinking about themselves more than they're thinking about you. You don't have to be perfect for others to like you. It's best to be kind and be yourself.
Confidence and Self-Esteem
I don't think I'm good enough.
Everyone has strengths and areas they're still improving. Your value doesn't depend on being the best at everything. You matter because of who you are, not because of your achievements.
I'm scared to try something new.
Trying new things can feel uncomfortable, but that's how we learn and grow. Even if you don't succeed right away, you'll become braver each time you try.
I wish I were better at everything.
No one is good at everything, and that's okay. Focus on improving one step at a time and celebrate your effort, not just the outcome.
I don't feel confident.
Confidence grows with practice. Think about something you've learned before that seemed difficult at first. You became better because you kept trying. Every small success helps build confidence.