Parents of Early Elementary
Between the ages of 5 and 8, children begin building the emotional foundation that will support them throughout their lives. During this stage, parents play a vital role by providing guidance, support, and reassurance as children learn to understand their emotions and navigate the world around them.
Understanding Emotions
Expressing Big Emotions
At this age, children are still learning how to identify and express their emotions. They often feel really big emotions, but lack the vocabulary or skills to explain them. Instead, they result to expressing their emotions through behavior (e.g. body tension, outbursts, somatic symptoms like stomach/headaches, withdrawal).
Creating Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is a skill that develops over time with practice. As a parent, there are a few things you can do to help your child better handle their emotions:
-
Help your child name their feelings.
-
Stay calm during emotional moments.
-
Let your child know all feelings are okay, even if certain behaviors are not.
-
Model healthy emotional expression yourself.
Ex: "Stop crying" → "I can see you're really disappointed. Let's talk about what happened."
Talking About Feelings
As a parent, by openly talking about feelings, you can help your children become better at understanding and expressing their emotions.
Rather than simply asking, "Did you have a good day?", ask:
-
"What made you smile today?"
-
"What was the hardest part of your day?"
-
"How did that make you feel?"
Having these conversations with your child helps build a strong, trusting relationship, making them more likely to come to you when they need to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
Healthy Routines
Routine Importance
Children thrive on predictable routines; having a routine can help them feel safe, reduce anxiety, improve behavior, and build healthy habits.
-
Sleep: getting enough sleep improves mood, attention, and learning
-
Nutrition: regular meals/snacks improve energy and emotions
-
Physical Activity: movement helps release energy and regulate emotions
-
Family Routines: family routines (e.g. reading before bed, family dinners, consistent bedtime) create a sense of structure and security
Helping Children Cope
Learning to Cope
When your child is experiencing big emotions, it is important to teach them healthy ways to cope. Coping skills are strategies that help us manage difficult emotions in a safe and healthy way. For young children, these might include:
-
Belly breathing, stretching, counting to 10
-
Drawing, reading, listening to music
-
Receiving a hug, parental comfort, favorite stuffed animal, quiet space
Encourage your child to practice these skills even when they are calm, not just during meltdowns. Practicing regularly helps them become more familiar with these coping strategies, making it easier to use them when they are feeling overwhelmed.
For more details on coping strategies, please visit our coping page.
Common Challenges
Separation Anxiety
It's normal for young children to feel upset when they're away from the people who help them feel safe. They may cry at school drop-off, cling to a parent, or become worried when separated. This is because children are still learning that separations are temporary and that the adults they love will return.
When this happens, it is best to:
-
Keep goodbyes short, calm, and consistent
-
Reassure your child that you will be back, and always follow through
-
Create predictable routines for drop-offs and pickups, so your child knows what to expect
If your child's worries are very intense, last for several weeks, or begin interfering with school or everyday activities, consider speaking with your child's pediatrician or a qualified mental health professional. They can help determine whether additional support may be beneficial.
Tantrums
Tantrums are emotional outbursts that happen when children feel overwhelmed by their emotions. Because young children are still developing the skills needed to regulate their emotions, they may not know how to calmly express what they're feeling.
During these outbursts, it is best to stay calm, help your child identify what they're feeling, and teach coping skills like deep breathing or taking a break outside.
Seeking Additional Support
When to Seek Extra Support
Every child has difficult days. However, parents should consider talking with a pediatrician or mental health professional if emotional/behavioral changes last several weeks, interfere with school, affect friendships, make daily activities difficult, or cause significant distress for the child.
Asking for help doesn't reflect you negatively as a parent. Just as you would seek medical care for a physical illness, seeking support for your child's emotional well-being is a positive step toward helping them thrive.
